27.5.11

Begging for cock


Sometimes a simple,'Master, may I please worship Your cock' is not enough.
He wants me to continue begging, each and every way I can possibly think of.....
He chooses moments when I am desperate for His cock and even more desperate for words.

I suffer and He watches me.

He makes me wait and think of things to say.

But I don't want to think, I want to float away with His cock using my mouth, and that is all I can think off.
Its so hard to concentrate when I feel like this and there have been moments that I was about to cry and give up.
But I never did and knowing the only way to feel His cock in my mouth, to be able to worship it unselfishly, eager to please it with every inch of my throat for as long as He wants me to, until my knees hurt and all the muscles in my body are protesting against the position I am keeping myself in. Tense and waiting for the words that he wants to hear me say....

Master, may I please worship Your cock. ?
Master, please fuck my slut mouth.
Master, may I please suck Your cock ?. 

Master, may I please clean my ass off Your cock ?.
Master, please use Your slave's mouth as Your fuckhole 
Master, please fuck Your slave's throat.
Master, may I please make Your cock hard with my mouth so you can fuck Your slaves ass.

Master, I'm begging You, please don't let me suffer any longer.

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200 Blows


This is how my ass looked like after 200 whacks with the paddle.
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Pinched

I crave this.....all the time!

16.5.11

Beat my ass red

video
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Holding my collar


Last night, after an amazing, but too short get-together with my Master, I fell asleep holding my collar, grateful that Master allowed me to wear it.

Although Master gave me some amazing orgasms, my body wouldn't settle down.

On the contrary, it was even more horny and rebellious.

I had only a few hours sleep before I had to go to work, but I felt no fatigue.
My ass still felt His presence as well as that frustrating emptiness throughout the whole day.

The cravings were even worse then usual. I doubt if there ever will be a day without them now, and
I have accepted that.

While I was worshiping His cock ( I cannot express how much I enjoyed that again, how much I wanted to taste, feel and suck it as if there was no tomorrow), something came to mind, which I have known for a long time but don't think I have ever mentioned here.

I was thinking about how easy it is to be a dirty slut - to do all the things I could only have dreamed of, just by obeying Him.

I don't have to initiate, I don't have to justify, or second guess anything - and it feels very liberating!

I was thinking that if I wasn't owned I could never experience and enjoy so many new things, my hidden desires and my deepest darkest needs.

I would never be able to do those things that Master expects from me now.

I would still have the old barriers and limits, and would not be able to ask my partner(s) to fulfill my deep hidden desires, even now knowing how good they feel.

Now there is no question about how things are and what is expected of me. No nervous breakdowns trying to explain to my partner what I would like to do.....if I could even get that far, because I doubt if I would ever be able to express myself in a vanilla relationship like I can now.
My partner could react as if I was insane or even could be turned off by them, and the fear of that happening would hold me back from mentioning anything kinky - and I would be trapped.


Now, I don't make the decisions and all I need to do is obey.
These thoughts (as he fucked my throat hard) really made me feel so much in my element as a slave, so comfortable....

Knowing the truth about myself, I could never be anything other than His slave...and I love it!

2.5.11

exhibitionist


It is amazing how many hidden desires have surfaced since I became a slave.
It has been astonishing for me to be able to acknowledge them to my Master and to myself.

Since the very beginning when I first discovered I am a painslut to soon after that when I found out that being degraded by my Master was something very exciting for me, I have learned many new things about myself.

I learned to drink His piss, found it extremely enjoyable to have Him spit allover my face and even to call myself dirty names.

When Master exposed pictures of me once on one of the adult forums, I found that I liked to be commented on, liked to be seen by many and even got aroused by the thoughts of men jerking off to my pics.

He encouraged me to take part in our local fetish club, and when I was flogged by two dominants and watched by at least 15 others.....I learned that I loved it.

And of course, I learned to enjoy sharing my slavery and exposing myself on this blog!

I have felt my boundaries disappear. Now I can watch any of the multiple video's my Master made of me regularly and with great pleasure.

(Unfortunately it is not possible to show them all here, in case someone from my vanilla work/family life recognizes me).

Scenarios of possible future events, as told to me by my Master, can also have an amazing effect on me.

Master tells me things, things He has in mind for us, or sometimes He tells me them just to see my reaction.
He told me how He would have me on a leash leading me into a room with multiple people and have me service them......suck all the men's cocks, and lick the women's pussies while everyone watched......He tells me how He would tie me down and have me used by each of the others taking their turn.....or how He would love to see me eat pussy while He watches.

I became curious about them but they also scare me.

They all have one thing in common.....thinking about them makes me soaking wet!

I get excited by the thoughts of the sexual acts of course, but the fact that I am also going to be watched makes it even more exciting for me.
Just thinking about them makes my heart beating faster, my breath stalks in my throat and I get soaking wet to the point I could spontaneously cum.

None of the scenarios have happened so far, some might, some may never, but one thing is clear.....I know I like being watched!